A Better World
by Possessed4evr
Summary: A look into Light Yagami's mind. Before and during the time he found the notebook, and his time with L investigating.


A/N: So I didn't get to post anything last weekend like I said I would. In fact, I'm super super sick right now and feel like absolute crap but I wrote this awhile ago. Its part of a 120 challenge I'm taking at the first one I'm doing is **A Better World**. At the bottom of this - if you're interested - I'll put the next story up so any of you can keep an eye out for it.

This is my first LxLight fanfic so go easy on me. Hope you enjoy! :D

* * *

He had lived a useless existence. From the day he was born up until a few years ago, his life had gone by without any sense of purpose. His chance at life had been stripped away from him by everyone around him; the supposed people who cared for his and not just about his future. And the pressure only continued to build. Light Yagami - a brilliant mind, left an empty shell with a heart to match.

Everyone treated like some sort of prodigy but in his eyes, he was far from that sort of title. What had he done in the seventeen years of his life to change the world and _earn_ the title of prodigy? He was a genius for sure, but his talents were wasted on schoolwork that mattered to no one. They had no idea how much he struggled and suffered through such a pointless life, each day filling him up more and more with boredom. Could he really save the world? 'You can be a doctor Light.' His parents, teachers, everyone told him. 'You can be anything you want to be. A politician, a scientist, a model even.' Most would be thrilled to know they had the choice right? That they could choose any career path and turn out to be successful...but he knew better than that. It had to be something amazing, something that would get him noticed, something that would help create the illusion of him "helping the world." 'A detective.....' The only thing that seemed appropriate. It was indeed plausible to stop bastard criminals reign of terror, especially when they did not deserve to live. But there were too many in the world, so what's the point?

* * *

_The point? _Light Yagami thought. _The point is death._

* * *

It was almost like a fairy tale, a wish come true, something spectacular.

The answer to all of his problems, what filled him with a sense of purpose and feeling, came falling from the sky - originally thought to be a dead bird - like a present from the gods. Well, just one god. And a specific kind: one of death. And the Death Note was like a prayer answered, a cure for his disease that slowly killed him from the inside out, an angel of Death. _The_ death angel.

_Angelus Mortis._

But there was a price to pay for such a delicacy, a gift. His soul to be precise, which he sold instantly as well as his chance at heaven...but such things didn't matter to a god. He was going to save the world, piece by piece, death by death, and no one could stop him.

* * *

_What is the point of death? _He wondered. _What is the point of life?_

* * *

He was wrong. _Wrong...such a disgusting word._

Light Yagami knew all the answers and destroyed all complications. Kira controlled the otherworldly power of the Death Note. He wasn't sure if 'Kira' was another personality created from another, or vice versa with 'Light Yagami'...maybe neither were real and his existence was only fraud. But either way, one or the other, someone - or maybe even both of them - was wrong.

Someone was trying to stop him, his wonderful dream, and the perfect world he was destined to create. 'Its only an idle threat,' he first thought. 'I'll kill him off soon.....no now!'

But he was wrong again. His enemy cheated death in a pathetic attempt to "talk" him out of successfully accomplishing a utopia. _No big deal, I'll just stop him again._ But he was wrong again. And Ryuk did not help the situation either. He could've just saved Light the years of trouble and told him a name. It would've been over in an instant. A moment even. But that didn't happen either. He hated being wrong. Damn his parents for turning him into such a perfectionist! Although, perfection must be achieved to acquire a perfect world.

And a detective - who swore to the world that _he_ was fighting for justice - was trying to stop him. A hypocritical genius whose intellect surpassed Light's in many ways - not enough to beat him - but a hypocrite all the same. As long as he was careful, he would not be caught. L would not stop him. Kira would rid the world of all evil. Light would bring a new era of peace that would last under his reign forever.

* * *

_The point? The point is death? What is the point of death? What is the point of life? Wrong...such a disgusting word. Everything was coming together, every thought, every fear, every pain driving him insane......_

_It was a simple equation, _he decided. _Solve the problem, get the solution, make no mistakes._

* * *

Light Yagami sighed and stopped himself from focusing on the memories. His mind needed to rest. He was tired of working nonstop for the past twenty-four hours on a case that was trying to catch himself. He was tired of the entire situation, it was draining him completely, mentally and physically. It was almost funny. Almost.

He forced himself to stand up and raised his long arms above his head to stretch his aching body.

"Are you going to rest Light-kun?" Light turned his head to the side with his arms still in the air, eyeing the detective in a speculative manner without looking suspicious. He was used to the detective popping up wherever he was, ever since L had gone on and on about him being the prime suspect for being Kira. It no longer surprised him.

"Yes I am." Light bit his lip to keep himself from continuing the conversation. After all, he didn't want to talk to L...

"Good night then." The detective called as Light fled the main room, rushing down the hall in the direction of his room.

"You too!" He called, regretting the decision to reply immediately. _Don't be nice to the enemy, _he told himself. _God I need to clear my head._

He shook his head and pulled off his clothes wearing only boxers as he climbed into his bed. _I mean _the_ bed. Not my bed. It's not mine, I'm not going to stay here, I can't possess what I won't keep!_ He climbed into his bed, trying to convince himself that nothing was wrong. But problems kept arising.

Second thoughts? Change of behavior? Insomnia? Paranoia?

Light looked to the side of his - no _the_ - bed, staring at the blurry numbers on the clock. _1:47 a.m._

"Dammit." He muttered. Still no sleep. He didn't used to be like this. All of these changes began when L forced him into this investigation - if he refused, he definitely would've looked suspicious - claimed him a friend. His first friend. His sworn but secret enemy.

And maybe...just maybe...Light wanted it to be something more. Whatever 'it' was. But he could never speak the truth. That would ruin everything.

"Light." Light jumped, almost falling out of the bed. _4:30 a_._m_."You were mumbling in your sleep." Had he blown his cover? Did he admit that he Kira? Was it all over now? "Is something troubling you?" Maybe he didn't hear anything...in that case, was L worried about him? Light blushed at the thought but quickly dismissed it, burying his face in his hands. _Quit it! You have a mission! You have to kill him!_ Light's stomach clenched at the thought. He didn't know what to believe about L. He knew the detective was wrong for sure but that didn't mean that certain feelings....developed in response. Either he was in love with the man or he felt special for having someone who cared for him, someone who called him a friend. All of this was very new to him so he didn't know much. But he did know he had to answer and not blank out every time he was asked a question.

"I'm not sleeping very well. This case is killing me." Ironic bull shit. L didn't seem to notice.

"Come then. You need fresh air to clear your thoughts." Light pulled on some pants quickly as L took his hand gently, leading the younger man to the top floor of the building. Light's brow furrowed.

"L-" L gave him a warning look. "Ryuzaki, its raining. And we're hardly wearing anything." A coat was handed to him out of nowhere.

"But the air is still fresh. Come, just sit with me." Light nodded, following the detective outside on the roof top. It wasn't just raining, it was pouring and freezing! Light swore he was trapped in the middle of a hurricane but L didn't seem to mind, care or notice. "Whatever troubles you Light, you must not let fear take control." Fear? Light stared at the detective, wanting to laugh and scream....why did he mock him yet know him so well? "Each problem you face in life has a solution, no matter how bleak or painful the answer must be, it is still there in any shape or form. And its up to you to make the solution better." Light frowned, staring at the detective, whose head was craned up towards the sky.

"And how would you make the solution better?" He inquired curiously. L finally looked down, then at him, pleasantly staring at him. Light did not feel discomfort; he didn't even feel himself being dragged into a trap or challenge set by L. For the first time since his childhood, he didn't need to find anything out for a reason. He was simply...curious.

"Make it better. Or brighter. Rain is my favorite form of light." He smiled at Light, who began to blush. "Tell me Light-kun, forget about the case and everything for a moment. What is your favorite form of light?" Light smiled, happy that someone was willing to distract him from the pressures of life.

"The rain is much too wet for me. I prefer the sunrise...or maybe sunset. Either or."

"Then come wait with me." L took Light's hand and led him the to ledge, where they both sat and waited for hours, enjoying the rain and then finally the sun. _Maybe,_ he thought, _maybe the world's not so bad after all._

_

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_A/N: If you liked, review or favorite! Next one-shot's gonna be called **Disease** and I'll have it posted as soon as possible.


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